Self-Reflection

Looking back on who I was before ZLP and who I am now, I see so much growth. I am not the person that started the program in the Spring of 2020. I have learned lessons in self-awareness, empathy, creativity, purpose, and leadership. At times, I feel that these lessons have made me a new person with new skills. The biggest changes I have seen in myself over the past two and half years are in how intentional I am, my ability to empathize, and my courage levels. However, I realized that these lessons did not change me, but they boosted my natural habits and have given me the knowledge I needed to accomplish my goal of having in-depth and intentional relationships.

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In college, I have learned that it is easy to meet many people and "make friends", but I have learned it is hard to have in-depth relationships. I learned that to attain these relationships, you must be open and vulnerable, and (most of the time) be the person to take the leap of faith. This leap of faith can be scary as you do not want to embarrass yourself, but anyone worth connecting with would at least be grateful and nonjudgmental. From my attempts to be intentional, I have learned that most, if not all, people want to have deep conversations and connect with others, they are just waiting for someone else to make the leap of faith.

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My understanding of empathy before my junior year vs. my understanding of it now differs greatly. Previously, I thought empathy was simply "putting yourself in someone else's shoes". After learning more about the subject, I learned that every time I thought I was being empathetic, I was just being sympathetic or trying to solve the problem. I realized that I had never attempted to understand others. With my new view on empathy, I now try to suspend judgment and my problem-solving mindset when I listen to others and attempt to truly understand others. 

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Courage was another item that I had misconceptions about. I always saw courage as being brave enough to fight a monster or stand up to a bully. While these could be seen as courageous in many people's eyes, my view on courage is now directly related to vulnerability. Brene Brown, a best-selling author, states that courage is born from vulnerability, not strength. At first, it may seem that the two are opposite, but they are directly related. For example, it is easy to let anger get the best of you and enter a fight, but it takes more courage to take the hard route by being vulnerable to try to understand opposing arguments and solve things in a pacifist-like manner.

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Overall, I have learned many items in the last few years, but know I am the same person I have always been. I have the same values and beliefs I have always had, I just now have new and more effective strategies to accomplish my goals.

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